Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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