hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize