Hey man sorry I got all grabby
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
