You made me cry and you don't even care
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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