What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
