this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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