glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
