i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm at about main and main street
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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