The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
