I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize