If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
