Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
