I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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