Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
