If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
