It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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