Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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