I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
