She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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