so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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