ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
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Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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