Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
