is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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