I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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