my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize