I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
