Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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