So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize