Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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