census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
