I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
