totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
