Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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