She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
