Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
