Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
