You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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