you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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