This is not my ceiling
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
