I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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