Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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