apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
