My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
