Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
