you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
