so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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