now i know why i became what i already was.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
