You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Farmville is her only friend.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
