I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
