My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The adults are the big ones right?
tell me about the eggs
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
