Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My feet surprised me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
