Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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