And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
