He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
