well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
