being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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