the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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