like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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