btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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