whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize