and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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