His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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