What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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