white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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